Fill 'er up....
Today my daughter is three weeks old. I still have a lot to learn about babies. In fact, I still can't really come to terms with the concept of caring for a kid. In order to help me understand and handle the situation, I try to put it into terms that I understand. Over the weekend I realized that babies are a lot like cars. I understand cars. Cars need fuel. Babies need feedings. Cars need regular maintenance. Babies need to have their diapers changed.
Cars, have gauges, dials and idiot lights to tell you what is wrong with them so that you know when it is time to do something. Babies don't have gauges or dials. They do, however, have one big idiot light, crying. Unfortunately, the idiot light isn't calibrated very well. It goes from "All Systems Normal" to "AHHHH!!! OH MY GOD!!!!! OH MY GOD!!! OH MY GOD!!!" in just a matter of seconds. There is no telling what this idiot light means. Is she hungry? Dirty? Cold? Swallowed a tack!?! What is wrong with this baby!?!? It sort of makes me feel like the idiot. You just need to go down the list of maintenance tips for the baby until you find the right one.
This brings us to feedings. When you bring your car into the gas station you should have a pretty good idea how much fuel it is going to take. If you had half a tank and you've got a 10 gallon tank there should only be enough room for 5 more gallons. There is often a warning sign at the gas station that cautions, "Do not top off. Spillage may occur." This one-warning-light child doesn't tell me how much room is in her belly. I've just got to guess by how much she ate at the last feeding. How long ago that was. What temperature the room is at. Which direction the wind is blowing. And what phase of the moon it is.
At first she drank 2 ounces per feeding. After a while this was not enough and we started giving her 3 ounces per feeding. Then, after a while, 3 ounces only served to make her angry. Now she drinks 4 ounces at a feeding. However, in hopes of helping her sleep through the night we are trying to give her more food at bedtime. We broke the cardinal rule of the gas station. Do not top off. Her 4 ounce belly does not hold 5 ounces. Woooh boy. I wish they had splash guards on the baby bottles because that stuff just comes out everywhere.
Okay, time to run. I've got to go ring out my pants and squeegee the walls.
Cars, have gauges, dials and idiot lights to tell you what is wrong with them so that you know when it is time to do something. Babies don't have gauges or dials. They do, however, have one big idiot light, crying. Unfortunately, the idiot light isn't calibrated very well. It goes from "All Systems Normal" to "AHHHH!!! OH MY GOD!!!!! OH MY GOD!!! OH MY GOD!!!" in just a matter of seconds. There is no telling what this idiot light means. Is she hungry? Dirty? Cold? Swallowed a tack!?! What is wrong with this baby!?!? It sort of makes me feel like the idiot. You just need to go down the list of maintenance tips for the baby until you find the right one.
This brings us to feedings. When you bring your car into the gas station you should have a pretty good idea how much fuel it is going to take. If you had half a tank and you've got a 10 gallon tank there should only be enough room for 5 more gallons. There is often a warning sign at the gas station that cautions, "Do not top off. Spillage may occur." This one-warning-light child doesn't tell me how much room is in her belly. I've just got to guess by how much she ate at the last feeding. How long ago that was. What temperature the room is at. Which direction the wind is blowing. And what phase of the moon it is.
At first she drank 2 ounces per feeding. After a while this was not enough and we started giving her 3 ounces per feeding. Then, after a while, 3 ounces only served to make her angry. Now she drinks 4 ounces at a feeding. However, in hopes of helping her sleep through the night we are trying to give her more food at bedtime. We broke the cardinal rule of the gas station. Do not top off. Her 4 ounce belly does not hold 5 ounces. Woooh boy. I wish they had splash guards on the baby bottles because that stuff just comes out everywhere.
Okay, time to run. I've got to go ring out my pants and squeegee the walls.
posted by daniel @ 10:21 PM
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