We're evil parents

When the doctor said that we should wake the baby every 2 hours during the day so she would sleep at night, I said it sounded reasonable. But, like with most things concerning the baby, I have no idea what I'm talking about. When Genevieve wakes on her own, everything is fine. But when she's really snoozing away and it's time to wake her up, the only way to wake her is to really aggravate the crap out of her. Sometimes you have to take all of her clothes off so she'll be cold. Sometimes you also have to rub your cold hands on her belly and back. If these things do not work (which is often), you have to resort to tickling her feet and under her arms. We are also fond of running our finger up her spine, which causes her to do cute little contortions in an effort to get away from the torturer. Usually at this stage, she's good and pissed off. Now she will scream her head off and we will have no doubt left in our minds that we are awful parents and that the pediatrician is a sadist. We then will try to comfort Genevieve as much as possible so she will stop screaming, which then instantly causes her to go back into a deep sleep. So, we start over again.

Anyone wishing to contribute to the Genevieve's Future Psychiatric Needs Fund, please send cash or a check to Danny's parent's home in Woodmere, New York.