Call me mint jelly....

'cause I'm on the lamb.

We're evil parents

When the doctor said that we should wake the baby every 2 hours during the day so she would sleep at night, I said it sounded reasonable. But, like with most things concerning the baby, I have no idea what I'm talking about. When Genevieve wakes on her own, everything is fine. But when she's really snoozing away and it's time to wake her up, the only way to wake her is to really aggravate the crap out of her. Sometimes you have to take all of her clothes off so she'll be cold. Sometimes you also have to rub your cold hands on her belly and back. If these things do not work (which is often), you have to resort to tickling her feet and under her arms. We are also fond of running our finger up her spine, which causes her to do cute little contortions in an effort to get away from the torturer. Usually at this stage, she's good and pissed off. Now she will scream her head off and we will have no doubt left in our minds that we are awful parents and that the pediatrician is a sadist. We then will try to comfort Genevieve as much as possible so she will stop screaming, which then instantly causes her to go back into a deep sleep. So, we start over again.

Anyone wishing to contribute to the Genevieve's Future Psychiatric Needs Fund, please send cash or a check to Danny's parent's home in Woodmere, New York.

Fill 'er up....

Today my daughter is three weeks old. I still have a lot to learn about babies. In fact, I still can't really come to terms with the concept of caring for a kid. In order to help me understand and handle the situation, I try to put it into terms that I understand. Over the weekend I realized that babies are a lot like cars. I understand cars. Cars need fuel. Babies need feedings. Cars need regular maintenance. Babies need to have their diapers changed.

Cars, have gauges, dials and idiot lights to tell you what is wrong with them so that you know when it is time to do something. Babies don't have gauges or dials. They do, however, have one big idiot light, crying. Unfortunately, the idiot light isn't calibrated very well. It goes from "All Systems Normal" to "AHHHH!!! OH MY GOD!!!!! OH MY GOD!!! OH MY GOD!!!" in just a matter of seconds. There is no telling what this idiot light means. Is she hungry? Dirty? Cold? Swallowed a tack!?! What is wrong with this baby!?!? It sort of makes me feel like the idiot. You just need to go down the list of maintenance tips for the baby until you find the right one.

This brings us to feedings. When you bring your car into the gas station you should have a pretty good idea how much fuel it is going to take. If you had half a tank and you've got a 10 gallon tank there should only be enough room for 5 more gallons. There is often a warning sign at the gas station that cautions, "Do not top off. Spillage may occur." This one-warning-light child doesn't tell me how much room is in her belly. I've just got to guess by how much she ate at the last feeding. How long ago that was. What temperature the room is at. Which direction the wind is blowing. And what phase of the moon it is.

At first she drank 2 ounces per feeding. After a while this was not enough and we started giving her 3 ounces per feeding. Then, after a while, 3 ounces only served to make her angry. Now she drinks 4 ounces at a feeding. However, in hopes of helping her sleep through the night we are trying to give her more food at bedtime. We broke the cardinal rule of the gas station. Do not top off. Her 4 ounce belly does not hold 5 ounces. Woooh boy. I wish they had splash guards on the baby bottles because that stuff just comes out everywhere.

Okay, time to run. I've got to go ring out my pants and squeegee the walls.

Check out my new hat. 

The packaging has been opened

Last night while Carrie was changing a diaper, Genevieve kicked erratically and bumped Carrie's hand which in turn knocked her umbilical cord to come off. Genevieve's umbilical cord, not Carrie's. At the hospital they told us that we could return her for a full refund until we cut the tags off. We weren't planning on removing that tag, but I guess now we have to keep her. Carrie thinks they might give us store credit if we bring her back. I think they might let us get an even exchange on another one. Though, I'm not sure we want to risk getting a whole new kid. We might as well keep the one we've got.

There wasn't too much fanfare to the whole incident and we decided not to keep it. In fact, without a second thought Carrie had tossed it into the trash with a dirty diaper. In some countries they have them bronzed.....umm, I don't think we're going to do that.

Normally you are supposed to wait until they fall off on their own, but things like this happen. Genevieve is fine, though now we have to clean the stump at every diaper change so that it won't get infected.

Our baby is legit

Both the state and federal governments have officially recognized our baby. No, I don't mean she was given they key to the city or any kind of medal but she was given her social security card and birth certificate. The feds sent us the social security card about 3 days before we got the birth certificate. It makes you wonder how that is possible. Shouldn't they have verified with the state that she really was born or are they just going to take my word for it? Ahh well, who knows what kind of machinery works behind the scene in the Social Security Administration.

Anyway, she's official now. So there is no longer a chance of selling her on the black market. Not that we were really considering it.

It is kind of amusing. The social security card came with the instructions to sign it in ink immediately. I'm sure this is the standard information they send out to everybody, but what's a baby supposed to do? We were thinking of rolling her hand in ink and printing it, but that would have just been messy. Okay, maybe that wasn't very amusing. But at 4 in the morning after being up for several hours, it seemed pretty funny.

why are you harassing me? I just want to get some shut-eye. 

Baby's first bath in the tub. 

Baby monitors are the tool of the devil.

I find it very interesting that in countries where baby monitor use is prevalent the birth rate is really low. However, in countries where a baby monitor would be considered a ridiculous luxury the birth rate is incredibly high. I think I've finally found the correlation.

As new parents, Carrie and I went out and bought everything that was listed in the various checklists. This included a wireless 900 MHz baby monitor. We were very happy with our baby monitor. It worked in every room in the house including the basement and outdoors to the edge of the property line. Granted there was a little bit of static when I was at the curb, but how often would I need to monitor the baby while standing in the street.

We tested the monitor and found it suitable for our needs. When the baby came home from the hospital we set the monitor up at the recommend 5- 10 feet from the crib. We went to bed with our end of the monitor and the volume raised just loud enough to hear a background hiss. For those that have never looked in on a sleeping child you might be surprised to know that babies make quite a bit of noise. Every few minutes the baby would snort, cough, sneeze, whimper, sigh or make some other noise that would start us from our sleep. I spent most of the night listening for signs of distress through the baby monitor. Fortunately, there was no distress to be had. Unfortunately there was no sleep either.

The second night we had wised up a little bit. We lowered the volume of the monitor to a more respectable level. The sounds of the ionosphere were no longer audible but we were sure we would still be able to hear any sounds of imminent need and swoop in like the dynamic duo. We weren't able to hear the quietest of whimpers but we could still hear her cries. Sleep could be had at last....Or could it. Sadly, no. She often cries in her sleep for no more than 30 seconds and will then go back to sleep for quite some time. The baby does not need to be rescued but my sleep is ruined as my heart is racing, adrenaline pumping and I spend the next 5 minutes straining my ears for problems.

Basically, if we want to use the monitor to hear any crying we must be ready to handle these false alarms. I think the best option would be to leave the bedroom doors open and just expect that when the cries have reached the necessary pitch we will be awoken from our slumber to come in and save the day rather than leap and start at every shadow. However, the fact is it is winter time and the house is cold. So cold in fact that we have a heater in the baby's room to keep the temperature stable. We are faced with a difficult choice:
Raise the temperature of the entire house by 15 degrees
Suffer through some sleepless nights until either we just tune out her cries or she learns to sleep through the night.

So far we have chosen to keep the monitor and slowly lose our sanity due to sleep deprivation. Perhaps we'll write again from the sanitarium.

The baby is crying. I am needed. Now if only I could find a phone booth to put on my cape, tights and mask.

"I'm so tired" or "Why don't you go to sleep!!!"

Genevieve has switched to on demand feedings but still doesn't sleep through the night. Wednesday night was really rough when she woke up about every hour on the half hour and a few times a little more frequently than that. Last night was better. She managed to sleep from 10PM until 1:30AM but then decided hourly wake-ups were in order for a few hours. By the time 5:30 rolled around she had decided it was time to really bed down and sleep through the night. Unfortunately for me that didn't leave too much time to sleep before I had to get up for work. We are hoping that the next few days will be better and that soon she'll go about through most of the night without needing a feeding or a change. Carrie is also trying to keep her awake as much as possible during the day so that she'll be exhausted by the end of the day.

She has also developed the cutest little habit. At diaper changing time, just to mix things up a bit, she decides to pee while the diaper is off. We think it has to do with the fact that the wipes that we are using tend to be a little cold. This seems to set off a random timer within her that will almost certainly end in a geyser at the most inopportune time. She doesn't do it consistently enough to just wait for it and it doesn't always take the same amount of time. Needless to say we've gone through a few diaper changes where more than one diaper is consumed. Someone needs to teach this kid about the environment. The extra diapers aren't the only victim either. It often results in changing the diaper pad and sometimes the outfit she is wearing plus then she needs a wiping of more than just her backside. She thought the wipe on her butt was cold, boy was she surprised when I used one on her warm belly.

I think that we'll potty train her as soon as she can sit on the toilet seat without falling through.

Doctor's Visit

Genevieve got to see her least favorite person again today - the doctor. She actually did very well this time and didn't cry one bit. She just got naked and let him weigh her without comment. She did stare at him like he was an alien the entire time, but as far as she knows he might be. At this point, as far as I know he might be.

It was 23 degrees when we went to the doctor's office this morning, so I bundled up Genevieve the best I could. I was very unhappy to take her outside and was very happy to get her home. She didn't seem to mind the cold and slept the whole time outside and in the car, so I guess I did a good job with the bundling.

Genevieve now weighs 7 pounds and 8 ounces, so she has surpassed he birth weight and can now eat "on demand". We are to wake her up every 2 hours during the day and let her sleep as long as she wants at night in hopes of getting her on the schedule least likely to put Danny and/or me into a mental institution. I've tried to explain to her the importance of her parents getting sleep, but so far only get a thoughtful look from her.

Lifting her head is hard work. She thinks she might take a nap instead. 

Just chilling in her boppie. After a hard day of drinking and pooping, Genevieve likes to chill on her pillow and take it easy. 

One Week Old

Yesterday was her one week birthday. We sang her happy birthday but she didn't seem to notice. When we took her out of the hospital she had lost a few ounces. She had dropped to 6lbs 12 oz. The doctors told us that we needed to ensure that she stayed on a fixed feeding schedule where we would wake her every few hours and feed her. Judging by our home scale she has gained most of that back but she has a doctor's appointment tomorrow where they will verify. If she is back to her birth weight we can switch to "on demand" feeding. This means the baby will wake up crying and demand to be fed. I'm not too sure how this differs from right now as she often wakes up crying demanding to be fed or changed. I think we just won't need to set an alarm to ensure that she wakes us up.

The doctor told us to give her a one dropper full of liquid vitamins every day. The first day was easy. The baby didn't know what to expect and swallowed it all. The second day was a little harder as the foul smelling/tasting medicine made her cringe. Now it is a chore. We have to give it to her a little at a time or she will spit it all out. Babies learn quickly. As soon as I touch the dropper to her lips she cringes and makes a funny face.

Carrie and I are doing tag-team duty on diaper changes and feedings throughout the night. This makes Carrie less cranky, makes me more cranky and the baby has about the same amount of crankiness. I'm only kidding. The baby is actually very well behaved and only seems to cry when dirty or hungry. She does not constantly wail, but in the middle of the night when it has only been an hour since you fed her and she now needs to have her diaper changed, it feels like it never ends.

She has been getting plenty of belly time and is getting pretty good at picking up her head. Though she doesn't seem to have the hang of putting it back down. She'll lift her head, roll it around unsteadily and then have it crash back down. Fortunately it doesn't fall far and it is on a soft pillow. We have a video of it and it is cute. Email me if you are interested.

We'll post more photos tonight. Last night was a little hectic.

The doctor says she needs to start exercising by doing push ups. We've put her on a boppie pillow so that she has help lifting her head. 

Baby Statistics

I forgot to put this up before.

Name: Genevieve Adair
Birthday: 12/6/2004
Birth Time: 9:24 AM
Birth Weight: 7 lbs 2 oz
Birth Length: 19 inches

Either I'm very little or this car seat is way too big. 

Mommy says I'm prettier when my eyes are open. 

I'm way too small for my crib. 

Introduction

I've had enough with emailing pictures out to a few people at a time and forgetting whom I've sent what to. Instead Carrie and I are going to try blogging for a little while. If it works out, we'll move this to a more permanent site.

We might backfill the log with what has happened over the last few days but in the mean time, we'll just put up a few pictures.

Our little baby is as cute as ever and drinking like there is no tomorrow. She's drinking at least a six-pack a day. Carrie says not to worry because milk is non-alcoholic, but I'm not so sure. Everytime she finishes feeding she gets a glazed look in her eye and becomes incoherent. Carrie said that she is only 3 days old and that I shouldn't expect her to be coherent. However, I have a video of her being very lucid in the hospital. A little demanding, but very lucid. You can email me for a copy.

Daddy with his smiling baby.

Baby (only 7 hours old) and Grandmother in the Hospital.

Mom with baby five hours old.